An opportunity to give thanks

As we embark upon the week of Thanksgiving, I found myself counting my blessings extra last night. As I was writing my Thanksgiving/Holiday cards, I found myself getting caught in the topical aspect of my holiday cards.  I took a deep breath, set my pen down, and genuinely began thinking about each person or couple I was writing.  Giving each of them my love through written word.  As our life goes on, the people who mean the most to us may not be in our lives day in and day out.  These little cards are a nice addition to let our loved ones know how much they are truly loved.

This has been a rough past month.  I’ve realized when I am at my most angst ridden emotionally, I truly need to release and live in the deeper emotions I have been trying to escape.  

As this year comes to a close, I am fully preparing myself for a 365 social experiment. For one whole year, I am choosing to take space from substances completely. I have been really working towards moderation and have been successful.  However, I want to change my habits by reestablishing my psychological pathways.  I just purchased a Daily Affirmation book that will help me work with my Inner Child.  See below for the book, does anyone want to join me on this?  I am vowing to write a blog entry each and every day for 2017.  I am holding myself accountable.

Rokelle Lerner

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2017: A majestic year for a reemergence of Unconditional Acceptance and Unicorn Love

1.) Each day I vow to awake and write at 6:30 a.m.

2.) I will spend my time creating instead of consuming

3.) Fulfillment will be sought out through volunteering, adventuring, and participating in lots of active events. 

More to come… I would like to use music, writing, yoga, creativity, and reading as my healing tools to find myself again. I need to become clear in who I am so I can begin figuring out what I want from this life. 

So much love to you all out there! #lovetrumpshate! 

unicorn-lovin

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Stormy weekend in PACNW

Exhaustion set in on Friday.  The end of the work week, a much anticipated storm which had already hit the Oregon Coast. And was looming towards Portland.  The media had a field day with the impending storm to hit … so the weekends plans were cancelled so all could stay in and nurture themselves as well as be safe…

Saturday morning my love and I slept in until 11!!! For those of you who know me, this is far from the norm. I am usually up at the sunrise and ready to frolic (much to my love’s chagrin) We live in a 571 square foot home and are easily awoken by one another.

The storm had yet to show itself in the valley by about 1 p.m.  We decided to set out on an adventure to our local amazing meat shop, Gartners (link below), the craft store, and finally finishing up at Costco.

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We arrived home in time for the storm to show itself (slightly, might I add)… We had lots of wind and rain but it wasn’t as bad as what the coast had experienced the previous day (thank goodness!)…

Saturday I decided to try and make a trial homemade organic candle with my favorite Holiday Joy essential oils.  I think this is going to be a good idea for Christmas gifts.  We bought some marrow bones from Gartners to make bone broth on Sunday.  We decided to also make pulled pork.  It was a productive weekend and full of fun activities and lots of rest.

P.S.- have you read Girl on the Train?!?! I happened to start that Saturday evening and was finished by Sunday afternoon! It was a fantastic read!

Girl on the Train -Goodreads

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Gartners Meats

Paralysis

Returning from  vacation has proven difficult.  

The funny thing is, I was ready to get back to my routine when we are on the final day of our road trip. I was EXCITED to return to our life.  As I returned to work, however, the realization that I am in a transitional period made me feel a bit uneasy.  I don’t have the tools readily accessible to deal with the discomfort of being in the NOW. Being present can offer such solace and yet such heartache. I feel the need to fill it with something.  Plans, scheduling, substances, How I Met Your Mother, anything that allows me to NUMB OUT.

I have to remember to say NO to the temptations I have at my fingertips. It’s an ongoing struggle and often I find myself to say, “Why Not?” … But that is where the paralysis comes from.  The same routine has not been serving me to the fullest degree.  I have been able to semi heartedly live my life, looking over the ledge, a brink of CHANGE.  

I realized on our trip that it is time to burst out of the semi-hearted lifestyle and jump FULL HEARTED into this world.  Even whilst working and living life as is until we have the resources to support our leap into the next phase of this life. 

I want to inspire.  Help others.  Lead a life where I am internally content.

This is my external shout out that I would like to wrangle my tendencies to seek validation in external wells instead of diving deep into my internal well that is overflowing with an untapped reservoir… But am grappling continually to release myself from this paralysis…..

Beaver Lake in Stanley Park(this is the water Lilly we discovered at Beaver Lake, Stanley Park – Vancouver B.C.) 

I chose this photo from our trip because the water Lilly or Lotus flower holds so much symbolism in the studies I have had with yoga, Buddhism and Hinduism. 

At night, the lotus flower sleeps.  At sunrise, with the waking of the sun, the lotus flower emerges to life.  Just as in nature.  Life is born, and reborn.

I want to become reborn into a new physiological makeup.  But I don’t have that option, instead I get to rise with the waking of the sun and emerge into my life consciously.  My goal for this week is to wake and take 10 minutes of silence before seeking external validation. 

SO MUCH LOVE TO ALL!