IronGirl 2016 Vancouver, B.C.

DSC_0855Finishing picture (August 7th, Photo Cred: Matthew Hunter) 

Standing at the computer reflecting upon the past 14 days.  My best friend and I decided to take the largest road trip either of us have ever taken in our adult lives.  The adventure began with the destination to be Vancouver, B.C. where I would participate in the second most physically challenging experience catapulted myself towards… There is a peace within knowing I am striving working on or moving toward something- end result addicted possibly. I digress.

DSC_0858My legs exhausted, heart full, and a smile glued to my face.  Love this man’s encouragement and love throughout the training and race.  (August 7th, Photo Cred: beloved Olivia (a friend we met while there) )

Having participated in the Iron Girl in 2013 added an element of comfort because I had an outline of what to expect.  However, expectations seemingly provide a false sense of comfort. 

I found myself in complete awe; the intimate Iron Man community who had worked so hard to make this Iron Girl event a possibility in Western Canada.  The Iron Man team busted their asses and made it an amazing experience.  I was completely unaware of what layers of self I would shed as I participated in this event for 1 hour 58 minutes and 2 seconds.  Laughter, sweat, and tears were my constant friends along for the ride.  Especially during the grueling 1 hour and 1 minute 20 kilometer painful bike ride.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a fantastic view of Vancouver BC but I was unaware that it would be 4 solid miles of an incline beyond what I had trained for.  (mental note for better planning next time)… It challenged the belief I had in myself.  Sometimes I wonder if I do have belief because I felt my default self talk to be far more negative than I would ever say to my worst enemy.  As my body carried me fully on this journey, I slowly saw this as an opportunity to shed that layer of my old self.  To instead speak gently to myself as I would a friend who needed encouragement and support.  I had the physical ability to push through if I could positively promise that I will always be my own friend.  And that allowed tears of pent up self rage and regret to shed out of my eyes, my pores, and push my bike ride that much further.  

As I saw the transition spot in sight, I glided off that rented bike (albeit precariously, I say glide but it’s a relative description) … another learning lesson.  Renting a bike is difficult when you aren’t familiar with it!!!

DSC_0849Photo Cred: Matthew Hunter 

I realize that I only have 3.2 miles left of this race.  Time to really come to terms with me, myself, and the I that have battled in disharmony.  The run was fantastic and I will never be able to fully express the gratitude I have towards Matt for standing by and cheering me on through the entire race.  I saw him between each portion and the love in his eyes warmed my cold body from the swim and not so warm weather.

It’s taken years to get to an unactivated state emotionally.  Each trial and tribulation and success require the darker times before the dawn hits. When it’s observed rather than acted upon, life flows smoothly.  As smoothly as anything flows.

DSC_0004Second to last night on our road trip. More to come!
Location:Double Arrow Lodge Seeley, Lake Montana Photo Cred: Matthew Hunter 

I have a tribe of wonderful people who I give thanks for each and every day.  Often hour by hour.  I love you all.

Iron Girl Vancouver B.C.

Be Bold With Buttonwillow

Bike Rental – AMAZING EXPERIENCE! Highly recommend going to Reckless Bikes
Reckless Bike Rental


Consume Consciously

Consume Consciously


We must stay present.  In the world of smart phones, social media, and the rapid speed development of technology, remember to stay present.

Give yourself permission to check out and leave the smart phone at home, stay logged out of social media apps, and go for a walk.  The irony is that I am posting this on a blog.  I think it all comes down to moderation.  Be conscientious of what is being presented as facts.


The last day of 2014- the construction of time

Another trip around the sun.  A true time for reflection, cliche as it sounds, it resonates truth for myself.  I embarked upon the morning realizing the growth/pain of this year.  The awareness that there is a deepened fragility to life.  One breath one is here, another breath the life we once knew is gone.  The practice of non attachment comes into play.

As I am contemplating the depth of our lives and the moments that take our breaths away, I walked into the office today to some spectacular views:

“Light precedes every transition. Whether at the end of a tunnel, through a crack in the door or the flash of an idea, it is always there, heralding a new beginning.”
Teresa Tsalaky

iPhone Pics 331

With this, I leave 2014 in warmth and encapsulated in my mind.

creative void

I have been participating in this meditation series with a one on one teacher.  She is absolutely amazing. She is cut and dry, no bulshit type of person.  I am really learning a lot from this.  But I still cannot sit!  It just pains me to sit down and be silently still focusing on my breath.  My mind is wild.  I feel that I have the monkey mind of most folks that begin but mine feels on overdrive.  The ego is engaged within that sentence.  As if my mind prevails over others’ experiences?  I don’t think so….


I’ve been suffering a bit.  I have so many things that inspire my creativity but when it comes to sitting down and doing it, I am just a lump.  I have this desire deep within me to think globally, expansively, and yet, do nothing but THINK about it.

Bucket List of things: (this will be ever-growing)…

1.) Mix Music (i.e.- sound cloud)

2.) Play Guitar (Taken lessons over and over, yet never practice)

3.) Continue yoga (learn to not feel the western culture’s pressures of how yoga “ought” to be)



This is so damn profound… It’s an amazing phenomena that is happening.  Everyone is attached to the little device within reach.  This device offers so much comfort, company, and an illusion of a void within us being filled by external stimulation.

Look Up 

I have 422 friends yet I am lonely
I speak to all of them everyday yet none of them really know me
The problem I have sits in the space in-between
Looking into their eyes or at a name on a screen

I took a step back and opened my eyes
I looked round and realised
This media we call social is anything but
when we open our computers and it’s our doors we shut

All this technology we have it’s just an illusion
Community, companionship, a sense of inclusion
When you step away from this device of delusion
You awaken to see a world of confusion

A world where we’re slaves to the technology we mastered
Where information gets sold by some rich, greedy bastard
A world of self-interest, self-image, self-promotion
Where we all share our best bits but leave out the emotion

We’re at our most happy with an experience we share
But is it the same if no one is there?
Be there for your friends and they’ll be there too
But no one will be if a group message will do

We edit and exaggerate, crave adulation
We pretend not to notice the social isolation
We put our words into order till our lives are glistening
We don’t even know if anyone is listening

Being alone isn’t the problem let me just emphasise
If you read a book, paint a picture, or do some exercise
You’re being productive and present not reserved and reclused
You’re being awake and attentive and putting your time to good use

So when you’re in public and you start to feel alone
Put your hands behind your head, step away from the phone
You don’t need to stare at your menu or at your contact list
Just talk to one another, learn to co-exist

I can’t stand to hear the silence of a busy commuter train
When no one wants to talk for the fear of looking insane
We’re becoming unsocial, it no longer satisfies
To engage with one another and look into someone’s eyes.

We’re surrounded by children who since they were born
Have watched us living like robots and think it’s the norm
It’s not very likely you’ll make world’s greatest Dad
If you can’t entertain a child without using an iPad

When I was a child I’d never be home
I’d be out with my friends, on our bikes we’d roam
I’d wear holes in my trainers and graze up my knees
Or build our own clubhouse high up in the trees

Now the park is so quiet it gives me a chill
See no children outside and the swings hanging still
There’s no skipping, no hopscotch, no church and no steeple
We’re a generation of idiots, smart phones and dumb people

So look up from your phone, shut down the display
Take in your surroundings, make the most of today
Just one real connection is all it can take
To show you the difference that being there can make

Be there in the moment as she gives you the look
That you remember forever as when love overtook
The time she first held your hand or first kissed your lips
The time you first disagreed but still loved her to bits

The time you don’t have to tell hundreds of what you’ve just done
Because you want to share this moment with just this one.
The time you sell your computer so you can buy a ring
For the girl of your dreams who is now the real thing

The time you want to start a family and the moment when
You first hold your little girl and get to fall in love again
The time she keeps you up at nights and all you want is rest
And the time you wipe away the tears as your baby flees the nest

The time your baby girl returns with a boy for you to hold
And the time he calls you Grandad and makes you feel real old
The time you take in all you’ve made when you’re giving life attention
And how you’re real glad you didn’t waste it by looking down at some invention

The time you hold your wife’s hand, sit down beside her bed.
You tell her that you love her, lay a kiss upon her head.
She then whispers to you quietly as her heart gives a final beat
That she’s lucky she got stopped by that lost boy in the street

But none of these times ever happened. You never had any of this
When you’re too busy looking down, you don’t see the chances you miss

So look up from your phones, shut down those displays
We have a finite existence, a set number of days
Don’t waste your life getting caught in the net
because when the end comes, nothing’s worse than regret

I am guilty too of being part of this machine
this digital world we are heard but not seen
where we type as we talk and read as we chat
where we spend hours together without making eye-contact

So don’t give in to a life where you follow the hype
Give people your love, don’t give them your “like”
Disconnect from the need to be heard and defined
Go out into the world, leave distractions behind

Look up from your phone, shut down the display
Stop watching this video, live life the real way.